please help. what do you think of my college argumentative essay so far?

Question by Francise M: please help. what do you think of my college argumentative essay so far?
so if you have time please read my essay and evaluate it and corrected or tell me what i should do. I kind of trying to relate my essay to my life story and article from a reading should teens work. the link is below. thank you for all your time.
http://amitaietzioni.org/documents/B170.pdf

high school can work part time
Argumentative Essay
I think it’s great that high schooler’s teens should

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